Big girl breath

Repatriation is a thing. And it’s a real thing. This is the second time I’ve been through it. The first on return from London. We were at a different stage of life, no kids, no real jobs and landing back to parents. It was tough. Gone were the flats, the parties and the travel. Hello real world jobs, engagements and mortgages. Talk about a life stage change.

This time it’s different. We are coming home to our own home, family and friends already here. But we have two other little humans to consider, settle and ensure they are adjusted. Hubby has the ‘real’ job and I’m the key to settling home and family.

It’s been a while since I’ve had the space (mental and physical) that I’ve wanted to and felt up to writing.

It’s been a couple months of being home and with one thing and another it’s taken this long to feel like I’m getting a handle on things.

In the last few weeks we’ve moved back into our home. Hubby and I bought this house nearly 12 years ago. Before we got married, we got our first fur baby (awaiting her return), had both our babies, watched them take their first steps and celebrated many milestones, celebrations and days here. However, we’d rented it out while we were in Bangkok and therefore had three groups of other people in our home.

It’s taken a few weeks to get it feeling like ours. Removing excess left by tenants and living in the space again.

When we moved in the day later Auckland was hit by one of the worst storms I’ve ever experienced. The wind gusts hit up to 200km per hour and felt like it was directed straight at us! Hubby and I had an anxious couple hours when the power went out and a large tree branch landed on the roof, looking like it was about to slide through the window into the living room. Luckily after an anxious call to the fire brigade and an hour it thumped and slid it’s way down the roof to land on the deck. We bunked into the quietest bedroom with the kids (who didn’t wake at all?! Think the Bangkok storms conditioned them) for the night. The next three days we had no power or phone coverage at the house… hmmm… moved back out.

So the first week was a bit of a wash out. Hubby then rather quickly had to head back off overseas while the kids and I settled in quietly to a school routine.

Throughout these early days we’ve been hit with strep throat, eye infections, general sense of unsettled and unwellness. This makes life just a little more difficult. By no means has it been serious but I’ve always felt sick Mum is much harder to deal with than sick kids. During the second week of the school holidays both my daughter and I were sick. The weather was grey and miserable and frankly not very motivating. We ended up cruising and bingeing an interior design elimination program. The one compromise we could find we’d all watch.

Back to school and the kids are settling in beautifully and I’m making the all important mummy connections too. Whilst I’m lucky to return to my home town and surrounded by family and friends I’ve found that I do love making new connections and forming friendships throughout life is an important journey.

Hubby headed off for his longest trip of the year with two weeks away. It is a long time without someone there in the evenings and there is no doubt the kids miss having Dad around. Especially our son as Mum is awesome but just doesn’t play (or wrestle) like Dad. But insult to injury was the trip was to London?? And over the weekend Harry married Meghan?! What?! Hubby could possibly be the least interested person around. And then he also had a day in Bangkok?! Jealous much? Me? Hell yes!!

So as the house and family become settled and we come up towards the important six month milestone (where life seems to even out whether moving countries or new job or new baby) I do feel like I’m more grounded.

It’s meant I’ve reached out to my ‘Bangkok friends’ again. And tried to align them with my life here. I’m talking with them I’ve heard two are moving, one is pregnant and life is transient again. It won’t ever be quite the same if I went back.

My mum is recently retired and in need of support while she transitions into her new life stage. She’s adoring having the time with her grand-children and of course her daughter.

I am transitioning into house-wife / stay-at-home-Mum and what that means. Projects at this stage is what it means. Side tables, gardening, window frame restoration. You name it, YouTube can teach me! But seriously, constant questions around me working from everyone is starting to play on my mind. And I’ll eventually transition to the juggling working parent. We just hope that we make it work slightly differently.

New Zealand is home, no question. And why wouldn’t this beautiful, welcoming place be. For all it’s failings and ridiculous house prices we speak the language, understand the money, the jokes and the culture. I’m no longer quite the biggest or tallest women in the room. The air is crisp and clean. And the world is out there, awaiting exploration. Just maybe it’s a breath in between. A big, deep breath of fresh New Zealand air.

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